dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
