please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
