Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
