I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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