We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
