why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
