neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
