Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
