dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
