yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
