sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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