his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She's the barista slut.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
