Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
