check it out our google latitudes are spooning
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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