it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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