I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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