I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
