And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Randomize
