The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize