god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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