I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
