So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
