Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
