did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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