Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
