the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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