Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
