I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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