If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
