sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
