the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
