Ketchup is God's man juice
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
