I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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