: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
