Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
