I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
