What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
