Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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