i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
