I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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