I think my fart just growled at me.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
