So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
