hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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