plz talk dirty to me
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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