It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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