these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
