Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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