everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
