too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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