Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
