People with herpes should wear stickers.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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