He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
