Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he told me I talked like a deaf person
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
