he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
